just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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