Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
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It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
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