i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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