we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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