yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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