sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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