I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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