I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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