this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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