i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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