You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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