Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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