i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize