I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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