i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She needs sedatives and a leash
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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