dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize