Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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