your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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