Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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