I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize