According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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