you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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