Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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