They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
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how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sext me about skeletons
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