She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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