i just had sex bonerless
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize