Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
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I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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