no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize