im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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