I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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