bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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