your room smells of hookers.
And success
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have aggressive nipples.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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