remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize