another moral hangover. fuck.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize