I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
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He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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