Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize