somebody snuck up and got me drunk
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
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I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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