I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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