Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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