New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
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the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
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Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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