Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize