Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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