i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
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I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
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You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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