Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
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I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize