At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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