My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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