i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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