My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize