whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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