I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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